7 Innovative Ways to Save Your Marriage

by: Cucan Pemo

Are you in a tough spot in your marriage right now? Every relationship has its problems and its rough patches, but that doesn’t mean that you need to give up when the going gets tough. For many couples, they can actually work through their problems to create a stronger relationship. Sometimes the hard times are actually learning lessons in disguise. Here are just a few tips for getting started on the right foot.

Listen

There’s nothing more damaging to a relationship than a partner that doesn’t take the time to listen. In fact, that fact alone might be the thing that has led to the feelings of dissatisfaction with a marriage. In order to be a good partner (on either end), you need to be able to remain quiet and talk through problems until both partners are satisfied. Be quiet when they are speaking and try to really listen to what they are saying.

Understand

But listening only goes so far when you’re trying to work out problems in you relationship. If you do not really understand where they are coming from, you might be creating more problems. When they are expressing themselves, you want to ask questions when appropriate in order to clarify what they are saying to you. Even if it seems uncomfortable at first, it’s important that you make sure that you understand where they are at and how you might be able to help.

A positive attitude

Why start off a rough patch by thinking that it will never get any better no matter what you do? When you’re trying to work through problems and issues, you will want to make sure that you’re going into it with a positive attitude. You don’t need to be sugary sweet, but you should start to look at your troubles as learning lessons rather than the doom of the relationship. Try to think about happier times when you start to become negative in order to turn your thinking around.

Be present

When a partner isn’t fully in the moment of trying to fix a relationship, the work becomes a one-sided affair. You need to be able to fully be there for your partner when you need to work through tough times. This might mean that you need to take a few days off work or devote certain times to discussing ways to fix your relationship. These times should be uninterrupted by work obligations or time commitments so that neither person feels rushed or distracted.

Stay calm

While you might be upset about the way that things have turned out, you need to remember that being calm is the best way to see things more clearly. Try lowering your voice when you talk – it automatically lowers your blood pressure and your anger. Try to take a few deep breaths before you say anything – this will help you to be clear and calm as you speak. Many people perceive becoming flustered or upset as being angry, and that can lead to a poor environment for working through issues.

Make plans

One of the best ways to help save your marriage is to start creating long term plans with your partner. While this might not seem like the best idea at the time, it will create the idea that you are both going to make it through the rough patch that you have stumbled upon – somehow. Try to make plans for vacations or other far in the future appointments. This will create a little less pressure because the future isn’t so vague and unable to be seen in the dark that you are experiencing at the time.

Take time away

While you don’t have to become legally separated to do this, taking time away from each other is one of the best ways to stop a marriage from becoming a divorced marriage. When you take time away from each other, you allow yourself to have a new perspective on the events that are happening. And this can allow you to see new solutions as well as new ideas for how to handle the problems that you may be having. Even if it’s just a night or a few hours, taking time to step back from an issue can help it become easier to resolve.

About The Author

Cucan Pemo

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Source : http://www.articlecity.com/articles/relationships/article_931.shtml

The Path to Forever: Intimacy and a Lasting Marriage

By Joe and Emily Season

For a marriage to survive and last until that dreamy "forever," intimacy must exist between the couple. What is intimacy anyway? This just does not pertain to the act of making love, but fulfilling each other's emotional needs. It entails enlightening conversations in between kisses and caresses.

A lot of marriage counselors chalk up the longevity of a marriage to how intimate the couple is. Here are some ways to achieve that intimacy for that ideal, almost magical marriage:

1. All work and no intimacy make a dull couple.

It is a given that after a crazy day at the office, the husband and wife both feel exhausted. But they must not let it get in the way of their relationship. They must allow for some quality time in and out of their love bed.

2. The husband must give what his wife wants: quality talk time.

Wives want to talk things out and express what is inside their hearts. The husband must grant her that as this is one way to achieve emotional intimacy.

3. The couple must still exert an effort to look attractive.

It does not mean that both must be “dressed up” all the time. But married couples must still try their best to look nice for their partners. This is one of the ways to start up the intimacy.

4. The couple must schedule dates.

Dating must not end at marriage. In fact, both should set a time to go out and have fun, just like before.

5. Husband and wife must continually unleash their romantic side.

Kisses, hugs, flowers, holding hands, stolen smacks...’the works’ - they do magic in a relationship.

6. Surprises are nice.

Sweet surprises always lead to intimacy. If the couple knows when to pull off these incredibly romantic stints, then that's a surefire way to attain a divorce-proof relationship.

7. Solving a problem before it gets blown out of proportion is important.

Intimacy loses its appeal once it gets "infected" by those conflicts that cripple the relationship. Conflicts should let a couple grow and not cause the downfall.

It is nice to earn that happily-ever-after plateau. But marriage is not as easy as a Disney fairytale had told everyone. Intimacy must be maintained long after the honeymoon is over to guarantee the husband and wife that yes, this marriage would last. That yes, forever is possible.

About The Author

Joe and Emily Season are experts when it comes to relationships and marriage. They have helped countless couples find real happiness in their lives. Sign up now for their exciting new ezine at http://www.seasonedlove.org.

Source : http://www.articlecity.com/articles/relationships/article_1303.shtml

Pursuit Of Happiness In A Marriage

By John Khu

Happiness is a precious gift. The pursuit of happiness should direct one to look within oneself and to the love that surrounds us. Happiness means well-being, sound health, and calm mind. Man is a social being and in spite of the nuclear society we live in today, all our relationships make us what we are. And one of the most important of them all is the institution of marriage. Marriage means commitment, love and understanding. More often than not the pursuit happiness ends in marriage.

Marriage is a firm bonding based on love, passion and sexual desire. Each equally important in its own sphere as we know that life should have a complete balance of love and commitment. Marriage is an ultimate commitment of life to peruse the natural way to attain happiness.

Pursuit of happiness through a marriage however is an individualistic view. While even half a century earlier marriage was the ultimate goal, the contemporary world has seen a drastic change in the way relationships are viewed. While marriage is still a revered institution it is no longer a respectability and recognition mandate, especially for women. Both genders today are equally ambitious and successful which makes the pursuit for happiness all the more definitive.

A happy and successful marriage today entails partners who deserve each other. They are a perfect match intellectually, physically and emotionally. Pursuit of happiness in marriage also includes the achievement of material comforts that ease the way for two people to share a lifetime together.

Pursuit of happiness in a marriage depends on making the right choices. Since ancient times marriage has been a source to attain real happiness and fulfillment in life. Marriage brings a sense of completeness in both men and women. This philosophy is reflected in all religions and isms that teach us to look deeper within ourselves. Marriage is the most natural institution formed by man. Evolution has made humans realize their gender differences and compatibility. Marriage has given them a formal bonding and an atmosphere to raise their children.

The pursuit of happiness through marriage is therefore a phenomenon that has come down through generations. It is a time-tested and proven theory which holds true even today because it is result of not human actions but human belief. It is an intrinsic aspect of human practicality. That is why, while many customs have come and gone with civilizations, marriage has lasted over centuries. Man’s pursuit of happiness is incomplete without the sanctity and bliss of a wedded life.

About The Author

John Khu is an experience entrepreneur and internet marketer. He specializes in communication development and personal happiness.

http://www.happyessence.com

Source : http://www.articlecity.com/articles/relationships/article_1396.shtml

A Major Cause Of Relationship Problems

By Margaret Paul, Ph.D

We all know that relationships are very challenging. 52% of married people reach their 15th anniversary and only 33% reach their 25th anniversary.

I have been counseling individuals and couples for 40 years and I believe that I have discovered a major cause of relationship problems - if not THE major cause.

Simply put, each person makes the other person responsible for his or her feelings and then tries, in various ways, to have control over getting the other person to behave in the ways she or she wants.

When most people get into a relationship, they tend to believe that this person whom they love will finally make them feel safe, secure, adequate and lovable. Because most people do not know how to make themselves feel safe, secure, adequate and lovable, and because many people came from families that did not provide this, they each believe that it needs to be provided by the other person.

The other person might try very hard to provide this. Imagine that you have a partner who is very kind and caring. But imagine that you are very critical of yourself. While your partner's caring feels good, as long as you are judging yourself, you will feel bad. No matter how much your partner loves you, as long as you are being unloving to yourself, you will not feel safe, secure, adequate and lovable.

However, you might not realize that your feelings of insecurity, anxiety, or fear are coming from your own thoughts. You might think that you are not happy because your partner is just not loving you enough. As a result, you might try various actions to try have control over getting the love you want - such as getting angry, blaming, or giving yourself up. The act of trying to control your partner only adds to your own bad feelings.

Meanwhile, your partner is likely doing the same thing - trying to get you to make him or her feel safe, secure, adequate and lovable. But when you try to control your partner and your partner tries to control you, you both end up feeling worse. One or both of you might go into resistance, withdrawing to protect against being controlled. When one person withdraws to avoid being controlled, the other person might feel even more abandoned, trying even harder to have control over getting the love you want.

As long as you each make the other person responsible for your feelings, you will continue to create a relationship that doesn't work.

The way out of this - the way to break this codependent system - is for one person to start to take responsibility for his or her own feelings. It really just takes one person to break the unloving system that both have established. When you begin to notice the thoughts that create your fear, insecurity, and feelings of unworthiness and unlovability, then you can start to learn to heal the wounded part of you that is critical of you. As you do your own inner work and learn to love yourself, you stop being a victim. You stop blaming your partner. You stop trying to control your partner into making you feel loved.

While there is no guarantee that your partner will also make changes, there is a good possibility that when you learn how to make yourself happy and take the pressure off your partner to do this for you, he or she might be interested in doing this as well.

Whatever the outer problems are in your relationship - sexual issues, money issues, parenting issues, chores, time, and so on - the underlying issue not taking responsibility for your own feelings. When you decide to learn to do this, you may be thrilled with the results!

About the Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. best-selling author of eight books, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

Source: http://www.article2.net/

How to Catch a Cheating Wife

By Sean Morissy

The last thing a husband wants to do is accuse his wife of having an affair when in fact she is not. Therefore, if you suspect your wife is cheating, take great care to do things the right way so you do not end up with a damaged marriage. One of the most common signs of a woman having an affair is her spending more time at work, long lunch hours, extra meetings and so on.

You see - the majority of affairs begin at work. The affair could be with an employee, boss, consultant, or client. Therefore, you first want to take note of any special attention pertaining to the workplace. For instance, if you notice your wife is spending more time taking care of herself to look nice at work, leaving earlier than usual, going out every day for lunch, staying late, taking business trips, and so on, then you may have a reason to be suspicious.

Once you begin to notice signs of change, you would begin to take note and look for proof. For instance, if you see that your wife’s behavior is different from usual, you are probably asking yourself why. If she becomes more interested in spending hours at the computer conversing with "friends" or "playing games" rather than going to bed, the behavior would be different, therefore, suspicious.

Another sign that your wife may be having an affair is that she suddenly takes up a new sport, activity, or some kind of interest. While this could a good thing and have nothing to do with cheating at all, again you want to pay attention. Along with the behavioral change would cove her taking better care of personal hygiene, having manicures and pedicures, choosing a new hair color and/or style, shopping for trendy or sexy clothes, etc.

Then, if you find that your wife prefers taking calls on her cell phone or perhaps talks in a quiet voice when the home phone rings, question it. Keep in mind that if your wife was cheating and you approach her, the chances are she will deny everything. For this reason, you must put it all together. This means looking at the computer to determine what sites she is visiting, obtaining cell phone records, and even following her, if necessary.

While the thought of following your wife sounds mean or invasive, if you believe she is having an affair, then you owe it to yourself and your family to know the truth. Sometimes, confirming an affair is hard. In this case, you might need to hire a private investigator to do the work for you. However, if you have time or interest, you can always be your own private eye. Finally, you can even purchase miniature, hidden cameras to place around the house if you believe she is having the man in, buy software that can monitor her computer activity, and a wide array of other tools to help you know if your wife is in fact cheating.

About the Author

Sean Morissy runs the hugely popular site dating woman, which helps you how to catch a cheating Spouse, which is very common in today’s husband and wives. Are you worried about cheating Spouse? Here you can find best book related to it.

Source: http://www.article2.net/

Bringing Back The Spark - 5 Secrets To Getting Your Husband To Adore You

If you are like most married women, the romance in your marriage has its ups and downs as time goes by. As you move together through the many changes that life brings, it is easy to forget to put each other first. If you are ready to win back his attention, first you need to understand what makes him tick.

Here are 5 secrets to getting him to adore you again:

Tip #1: Acknowledge his special value: Every man has a unique attribute, a special type of intelligence, or an area of expertise. You can bet that this is the thing about which your husband feels most proud. Why? Because your husband places a healthy portion of his own self-esteem on this value, silly as that may seem. In fact, most of what he says to you is simply him reminding you in different ways about this special value. By really listening to what he is saying and acknowledging his value directly, you will be amazed at how much he will start opening up to listen to you in return.

Tip #2: Quit making him shut down: Every husband has at least one or two things that make him seem to shut down or close up emotionally. Instead of being dismayed or trying to pry at the root of those things, it is better to let them lie. Learn what his shut-down triggers are and then learn to avoid them. If you are truly concerned about some deep issue he is facing, let him know you are concerned and ask if he would like to talk about it. But, if he does not want to, respect that and move on. Life is too short to always be trying to fix your husband. Avoid his triggers and enjoy happier times together.

Tip #3: Heed his "alone time beacon": Often, when a wife wants more attention from her husband, she will do whatever she can to get it: strike up a conversation, sit near him, or even nag him about being too quiet! During these times, you can bet that your husband is trying to send subtle signals that say "stay away - I need some alone time right now." It is a huge mistake to ignore those signals. Quite to the contrary, the secret to getting him to want to be around you is to actually let him have his alone time. Even encourage it. When you are feeling the need to spend time with him, arrange for a special get-together time after dinner and "invite" him to join you. By setting aside the time in advance, he will likely be much more responsive.

Tip #4: Be crystal clear about your feelings: You know the routine: you are feeling hurt or angry for some reason and you want him to guess your feelings and, even better, approach you about them. For 95% of men, this is just not going to happen. You must give up on this fantasy of wanting him to figure you out. Instead: choose the right time and express to him in a crystal clear way about what is bothering you. Avoid complaining. Rather, your sentence should go like this: "Honey, I am feeling hurt because of [fill in cause]. Is this a good time to talk about it?"

Tip #5: Show confidence in your looks: No discussion of marital relations is complete without mention of the physical side of the relationship. Regardless of the state of your sex life with your husband, being attracted to each other is the basis for any healthy marriage. Here is the formula for success: be confident in your face, your hair, your body and show it. Even on bad hair days, walk, talk, and sit in a way that says, "I am hot. I am attractive. Now, you can take it or leave it." Reason: confidence is extremely attractive to a man and he will adore you all the more for it.

About the Author

Want to rekindle your love? Here is a guide that has helped many others like you to fall in love again: www.Earth-Matters.com

Source: http://www.article2.net/

A Woman Needs a Man as Her Husband

By Dalip singh Wasan, Advocate.


A woman knows that she shall not living all her life with her parents. She knows that one day she would be married and she shall be shifting to the house of her in laws and the main character in that house shall be her husband who had chosen her as his life partner. When she was growing young, she had been making so many images of of her would be husband. She wants that her husband should be properly educated, should be properly trained, properly adjusted at work, should be having handsome income, should be having good reputation, should be honest, should be having good health, should be able to protect her, should be able to give her love and affection and should be able to maintain her well so that she could live a life of her own. She wants that her husband should be a clean person, should not be inclined to another woman and should not be wasting more and more time on that lady. She wants that the husband may be having sisters and brothers, parents and some people to support, but at the same time he should be available to her and he must be taking care of her and should not be ignoring her in comparison with other members of the family. Such are the wishes of the woman who shall be coming to the house of a man and therefore, he must have knowledge about these wishes and desires of the woman who shall come to his house and till he has not prepared the grounds, he should not marry a girl, especially a girl with modern education and training and especially a woman who is already in job and is earning hand.

The man must prepare himself and must be able to show that he is the man of her dreams and the man who is really a life partner for her fixed by God before sending them on this earth. If some of the requirements are not there, there are no chances of a successful marriage and married life. She shall not be adjusted and a frustrated lady shall create all types of troubles in the house and the remaining part of life shall become a hell. Therefore, the man should prepare himself before his marriage and should not have a faith that the lady coming to his house shall be adjusting herself in all types of circumstances available in his house. Those are the days gone and now such ladies are not available in the society who shall be adjusting themselves in spite of all the hurdles and difficulties. Therefore, marriage to day is a contract and both sides must have to keep in mind the minimum conditions from both the side and only then this contract shall be finalized and executed properly.

About the Author

Source: http://www.article2.net/

How to Catch a Cheating Husband

By Sean Morissy

Over the years, a number of studies have been performed to determine information specific to a cheating spouse. Compiled information shows that 85% of women who believe their spouse is having an affair are right. In addition, these studies show that 50% of men who feel the wife is cheating, is right. Therefore, if you are married and your gut is telling you that something is wrong, chances are in your favor that something suspicious is going on.

In this article, we wanted to address some of the ways in which you could catch a cheating husband. Obviously, the future of the marriage would depend on recognizing the telltale signs of an affair. If the affair were confirmed, then a couple would need to decide the future direction of the marriage. Of course, the wife would need to decide if she were willing to stay and work hard to rebuild the marriage or move on.

Interestingly, more than 800 different signs can show if a husband is cheating, some that you may find surprising. Although we cannot cover them all in one article, we did want to provide you with the various categories in which these signs fall, as well as a few specific things you could watch for if suspicious of your husband cheating.

Physical Appearance
Relating to the Wife
Conversation/Communication
Work Habits
Daily Behavior
Finances
Travel
Behavioral Changes/Personality
Absences
Phone Tip-Offs
Clues with the Car
Eating Habits
Taste and Smell
Home Invasion
Gifts
Computer/Cell Phone/Pager Use
Physical Evidence
Disclosure or Slip-Ups

Of these categories, we will touch on the first four, giving you ways in which you can catch your husband cheating. Again, knowing the signs will help build your case so you can eventually confront him with the truth.

•Physical Appearance – If you were to notice your husband taking greater interest in his physical appearance, you might wonder why. For instance, a sudden interest in working out at the gym, wearing hair in a new style, different or new clothing, and overall personal hygiene could all be signs of an affair.

•Relating to the Wife – Sometimes, a cheating husband will begin to act
differently to the wife. For instance, the husband may no longer be interested in conversation, he may stop opening the car door, or perhaps he no longer wants to dine out for date night, and so on. While these signs are not definite for an affair, they could be indicators.

•Conversation/Communication – Often times, a husband having an affair will become quiet. This means normal conversation/communication diminishes or stops altogether.

•Work Habits – A cheating husband will try to find ways of getting out of the home, using work as an excuse. Therefore, you would find him attending more long or after-hour meetings, needing to travel out of town, or blaming overload on spending more hours at the office.

About the Author

Sean Morissy runs the hugely popular site dating woman, which helps you how to catch a cheating Spouse, which is very common in today’s husband and wives. Are you worried about cheating Spouse? Here you can find best book related to it.

Source : http://www.article2.net/

Mistakes Men Make in Relationships

By Joy Bates

It’s a known fact that men and women are situated on opposite ends of the relationship spectrum. Although they share similar human traits, men are more driven by logic as opposed to emotions as women do. As a result, they think, feel, and act differently when interacting with their partners and dealing with life’s challenges. Generally speaking, men are unemotional, collected, rational, and analytical, while women are emotional, reactive, sensitive, and sentimental. It’s no wonder their friendly chats occasionally end up in the battle of the sexes. With this in mind, love and harmony can be achieved in relationships. Men and women just need to embrace their differences.

To shed more light on this interesting topic, the following are some of the most common mistakes men make in relationships:

• Men are candid about their partners’ looks. In order to get attention and assurance from their partners, most women would solicit their thoughts on their appearance. They would pose questions such as, “do you think I gained weight” or “do you like my new hairstyle”? Naturally, women expect positive reactions from their sweethearts. If men wish to avoid any argument with their wives or girlfriends, they need to refrain from giving negative responses or feedback.

• Men automatically launch into “problem-solving” mode when they are presented with issues by their partners. The reality is women run to their significant others for emotional support regarding their workplace woes, family problems, among other things. They are not searching for solutions. They simply want to “vent”. In return, they just need their partners to listen and provide comforting words like “everything will be ok”. A nice hug would also do the trick.

• Men tend to express their honest views of another woman’s beauty to their wives or girlfriends. Big mistake! Typically, women put their men to the test to ensure that they still find them attractive. For example, they would ask, “do you think Jennifer is pretty?” If a man answers yes to that question, World War III would break out.

• When women provide suggestions or advice to their husbands or boyfriends on any topic, they get defensive and perceive their friendly gesture as intimidating and condescending. They interpret their innocent help as a form of criticism, attack, and condemnation. They feel their intelligence is being challenged.

• Men are not romantic enough. Women crave to be told and shown how much they are loved and desired by their partners in countless ways. They long to be hugged, kissed, touched, caressed, and told how beautiful and sexy they are. And, to solidify these romantic overtures, flowers, love notes, or a stroll on the sandy beaches of a tropical island are encouraged.

• Men hardly participate with household chores. In the past, men were the sole breadwinners and women’s place in society was at home. Today, men and women both earn a living and therefore should have their share of domestic responsibilities.

• Men have the natural tendency of hiding their true feelings concerning their careers, family life, and so on. This can be problematic and can cause a serious communication breakdown. If this behavior persists, it will slowly destroy the relationship.

Men and women have similarities and differences in their approach to relationships and life in general. In order to make the marriage or relationship flourish, both genders should be aware of their differences and accept them wholeheartedly.

About the Author

Joy Bates is a co-owner of relationship-remedy.com, which provides articles, e-books, advice, and the like pertaining to relationships. Come visit our website http://www.relationship-remedy.com, your gateway to a happy relationship.

Celebrate Valentine's Day with your Kids!

Source : http://www.articles-hub.com/Article/134932.html

So February 14th is rolling around again, and why not take advantage of this holiday by giving your children a little extra love and attention. As a parent myself, I am sure that you give your children all the love and attention they need, but I also know that sometimes we get caught up in the hustles and bustles of day to day life. Use this opportunity so you too can relax, have fun and maybe even be a kid again yourself! With a little extra time and effort you can make this day extra special and unique, by celebrating and reconnecting with your children in the tradition of Valentine's Day.

Here are some fun ways to celebrate with your kids:

1)Plan Ahead! Sit down with your child the weekend before Valentine's Day and help them write or create Valentine's Day cards for their friends and classmates. Use this opportunity to teach your child a good life lesson, "To be kind to others and treat everyone with the same respect that they would like for themselves". Think back to your days of grade school. Remember how sometimes Valentine's Day became a measure of popularity when one child got no Valentine's, while another child got more Valentine's then even another. It may be a nice gesture to encourage your child to equally give Valentine's Day cards to all of their classmates and friends.

2)Even though you may not be able to spend the entire day with your child, you can make your presence known during the middle of the day by leaving an "I Love You", "XOXOXO", or Happy Valentine's Day card or note in their lunchbox. It might embarrass them a little, but deep down inside it will warm their hearts and have a lasting loving affect.